Writing 101: Serially Lost

Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t any more.

This doesn’t need to be a depressing exercise; you can write about that time you lost the three-legged race at a picnic. What’s important is reflecting on this experience and what it meant for you — how it felt, why it happened, and what changed because of it.

Today’s twist: Make today’s post the first in a three-post series.


It’s hard to believe I used to have so much spare time on my hands that I used to spend hours of it just reading or watching tv or playing video games. Used to be a time that I would sleep in until 1pm on Saturdays. My then boyfriend, now husband couldn’t comprehend how a person could sleep half the day away. It took some effort, had to get up once or twice to pee, but somehow I managed. So much sleeping in back in the day. I used to have time to do stuff after work like go to the gym or wander around the mall looking for nothing. Remember hanging out at the mall? There was even a time when I would plan my weekends around which bars or clubs I would go dancing at. It wasn’t unusual for me to start the evening at 10pm and dance until the lights came on. I was queen of the last call.

I remember what it was like to read a book until the early hours of the morning. Never mind the fact that I had to get up for work or school the next morning. I remember what it was like to play a video game so long and hard that I had calluses on my fingers and thumbs from those damned unpadded controllers. I know what it’s like to wear out a mouse just clicking away on some computer game or another. So many hours playing, reading, relaxing. So much time.

Spare time is a thing that doesn’t exist for me any more. Every moment of my waking day is accounted for. Wake up, prep for work, get the kids out the door, work, get everybody home, dinner, bedtime, rinse, repeat. I’ll be dammed if I can find the time to play a video game for any uninterrupted length of time. Gone are the days when I could hand my kid a disconnected controller and let him think he was playing along. He’s a smart cookie now, something about wanting to collect all the coins on his own has changed the way I game.

If I want to watch a tv show, it better be PVRd because I’ll be making frequent use of the pause button and it will take a minimum of three times as long to watch whatever I’m trying to watch. Read a book made of actual paper? Forget it. It doesn’t have any picture therefore before I even get half way down the first page I will have to answer 72 questions about why I’m reading a book with no pictures and “that doesn’t make any sense mama!”.

Now, if I sleep in until 7am I consider that a win. I listen to audio books while I wash dishes and commute to work, and I read review of all the latest games that come out, thinking wistfully about days gone by. My motto these days is to always be doing more than one thing at a time, that way everything gets done. Not well, mind you, but at least it’s done.

I pick my battles.

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How do you do it?

timeTwo people have asked me this question over the last couple of weeks, and I’ve answered with a weary sigh, “I have no idea”.

These two people, both working women with no children, are busy. Very busy. I remember what it was like, before I had kids, when I was busy. So busy that my days and nights were just full and I’d get to the end of the week and think to myself “I can’t possibly go on, I’m so tired!” Then I’d sleep for 12 hours on a Saturday, get all caught up on more sleep and chores, and feel refreshed (more or less) and ready to go on Monday morning.

Then I had kids, and my world turned upside down. And, I’m pretty sure someone stole like six hours out of my day. Seriously. I’m positive that six hours have literally disappeared from my day because I feel like less time exists in which I have to get everything done.

Yes, I know that children take up a lot of time, but it’s insane just how much time those tiny humans suck out of your life!

You ask me how I do it? How do I, a working mother of 2 kids, get it all done?

The answer is I don’t.

I just don’t, it’s not humanly possible.

I may look like I’m getting’ ‘er done, but I’m not.

My kids are (pretty much) clean, bath night isn’t every night.

My kids are fed (for the most part). If you’re a regular reader of my little blog, you’ll know that I’ve had issues feeding my kids, and quite frankly, some nights it’s hot dogs (minus the buns because “I don’t wike dat bwead mama”), for dinner, or nothing at all if they don’t like what I’ve just slaved an hour cooking because if you’re not going to eat it than I guess you’re going to bed hungry. Your choice kid. (also, no desert if you don’t at least try to eat your dinner, so there’s that.)

My house is clean (sort of), in that there isn’t food on the walls or bugs on the floors. But don’t look under the dining room table because I’m pretty sure it’s been a while since I swept under there. And speaking of sweeping, I’m also pretty sure that if you gathered all the dust bunnies we could make one whole REAL bunny, no problem.

The toys (generally) get kicked out of the way (out of stepping-on distance anyway), when I’m just too tired to pick up those 10 things that I just picked up 5 minutes ago! Am I the only one who picks up things around here?!?!! damit!

I try to cook dinner from scratch at least five three nights a week. Even if that dinner is French Toast or pancakes with bacon. Because who doesn’t love breakfast for dinner? The other nights are filled with maccaroni with hot dogs, or salad, or leftovers, rarely fast food because that gets too expensive.

I get my kid to school (almost) on time every day. And by almost I mean we’ve never had to go in through the main entrance because the kindergarten entrance monitor has locked the door for the day.

Everybody goes to bed at a reasonable hour. No, wait, that part is a lie. The preshus gets to bed at a reasonable hour, the peanut is trying to kill me with sleep deprivation, but that’s another blog post.

So there you have it, my life is far from perfect, and I’m far from doing it all, but honestly, I know these days won’t last for ever. And as soon as I’ve figured everything out, I’ll be wondering how the time flew by so darn quickly.

Now, you’ll have to excuse me, I need to leave work like rightnow so I can pick up the kids in time to get them home early and cram dinner in their faces (hot dogs, no buns – least amount of fighting) and get to the school in time for the Holiday concert.

Fingers crossed I don’t fall asleep before my kid hits the stage.

How do you do it?

Just One (said every mother, everywhere)

time

Just one extra day.

That’s all I need in a week.

Just one extra day with no one sending me new requests for things they need me to do.

Just one extra day so that I have time to catch up on all the things I didn’t have time to do when I was supposed to do them.

Just one extra hour of sleep.

Just one person to watch the kids so I can go out on a date.

Just one night where the kids sleep in their own beds all night so that I can get one night of uninterrupted sleep.

Just one.